If I Had A Child

Lets get this straight, in no way, shape or form do I want children. Other people's kids are fine, I don't mind hanging out with them in small doses. But I have anxiety issues and the screaming, running around of children makes me want to run and hide in a dark room, curl up an cry. I don't know why. Thats just how it is. Which is one of the reasons I don't want children. I don't want to be a mother who runs and hides when their child needs something and can't communicate it to me in words, but in screams instead. I think I might be a mean mother because I would get so stressed out with the screaming.

But sometimes I just like to think of what I COULD be like if I was a mother. I grew up with only my mother and I thank her every day for encouraging my imagination. Honestly I think today's parents want their children to always be doing something so they give them tasks and projects to do. Why not let them figure out what they want to do on their own? But I digress.

I was watching Arthur, you know...the kids show on PBS. I love it. And Arthur's grandfather is sick. Long story short he learns that its a natural process of getting older, etc. And then between the cartoons they always go visit real kids. And in this episode the real kids were visiting an old folks home.

It makes me think of my Grandparents and what their lives were like growing up, and what even my own mothers life was like growing up. So very different from when I was growing up and I'm sure to my own Grandparents it would be like Science Fiction to see how my Niece and Nephew grow up now. With iPads and talking to people miles away but still being able to see them face to face *skype* etc.

This one older woman talked about how she would gather around the radio and listen to programs rather then watch them on television *since there was no such thing when she was small* and how you had to have an imagination to really paint the pictures that the actors were talking about over the radio.

What an interesting thing. If I were a mother I might do that. Pre-record a show like Arthur and have my child sit and listen to it rather then watch it. I would ask them to draw pictures about what they are seeing in their mind while they listen to the story. The same could go with a parent reading to them. It would be so interesting to see what a child could come up with...

I randomly think of things like this. What if? But for now it will remain in my imagination.