Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Which One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other? Ankylosaurus...Spock *new one*,Sheldon and Chris

I just needed a spiffy Title name. But ALL three of these things will be included in my blog. Which one of these things is not like the other? I mean I guess the Ankylosaurus could be gay...I've never met one. Also...Sheldon isn't gay...but there is  this HUGE rumor going around that Jim Parsons is *Please Jim Parsons, say it ain't so and marry me! I will make you tasty treats!*

Totally random that was. See, now I'm Yoda. But I digress, here goes. I find myself mostly in love with Gay men. I actually have a gay boyfriend that I currently share with another friend. We all live together in our heads and we're probably like Three's Company with much more shaving of legs, drinks, Pan Am, Pandas and Ankylosaurus.

Sadly I am not a man or gay *which wouldn't make any difference cus then I would like girls* but you get the point. But all in all I would love to marry either Jim Parsons or Chris Colfer or Zachry Quinto. Sigh. Can I marry them all? Just because they are adorable and wonderful.

As for the Ankylosaurus I am totally into Terra Nova and last night there was a baby one and I feel in love with it. This morning in the locker room at school my friend Cara *who I share Nelson *our gay boyfriend* with* and Dillyn were talking about the random animals they wanted. Cara wants a miniature cow *which Dillyn can totally hook her up with. Her 4 year old cousin breeds them I guess* and Dillyn wants a half horse half zebra mix. Well I told them I wanted a baby Ankylosaurus. I think I won THAT game.

Also today was a crap day because She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was an UBER bitch and she really needs to be just taken out. She decided to hate on poor Brandon and then myself. I'd like to punch her in the face. Or just scream at her really loudly. And I don't mean scream with words...I just mean...Godzilla is coming and I am screaming kinda scream. I loathe her. She needs to get brought down to size.

So that was my day. I still need a baby Ankylosaurus and Sheldon, and Spock and Chris. Also I love my friends. They always make life spiffy.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Black Friday Shopping...AS IF! Also featuring Sailor Moon and Cake

Today was Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. When I woke up this morning I turned on the TV to the news and heard this little gem...a lady...shopping at Walmart on Black Friday ran into Walmart when the doors opened and sprayed everyone behind her in the face with pepper spray. Yes...you read that right. I hope her ass if comfortable in jail right now and she is banned from any future black friday events.

I have never been a black friday shoppers, as I have worked since I was 18 in retail jobs. Therefore I am on the OTHER end of things. Most recently, and by recently I mean 4 years ago. I worked at The Body Shop in Alaska at the 5th Ave mall. It was totally fun, I worked the morning shift and we had to go to the bank to drop of money SO MANY TIMES. It was insane. But people shopping at The Body Shop were pretty cool people. I don't remember anything horrible happening.

But, as I said I have never been into Black Friday shopping. Until today...except I didn't go for shopping I had a bill to pay at Nordstroms. So I merrily went to Nordy Racks to pay said bill. I parked in the yonder far area so that I wouldn't have to fight anyone for a parking space *this was at 2pm mind you* and went to pay my bill. I had to wait for 25 min to pay a bill. Good thing I brought my kindle. And if you are wondering why I choose today to pay the bill...well it was due today and if I didn't I would get a 35 dollar charge. But I'm not complaining, it was my own fault.

SOOOO! I go back outside after my line waiting and bill paying and go to my car. Some DOUCHE bag *I should have taken a picture* had parked so FUCKING close to me I couldn't even get into the driver side seat. I had to crawl over the passenger side seat and the middle bit to get into my car. So I wrote a nice little note *should have taken a pic of that too* this is what it said:

Dear Jerk, thank you SO much for parking so DAMN close to me. Please learn how to park better in the future. Just so you know I have to get into my car through the passenger side. Otherwise I would have dented your car. You're WELCOME!

That was my note. Also, while writing this note, another car came and parked beside douche bag car. It was a mustang and took up TWO FREAKIN spots. I should have written him a note as well. Damn. I was dumb today.

On the plus side I did one TINY thing of Black Friday shopping. I went to the mall and parked in the boonies and no one parked to close or annoyed me and went to Hot Topic *really I wanted soap from Bath and Body Shop and I wanted the deals* but popped into Hot Topic and TO MY DELIGHT! Found Sailor Moon SHIRTS! It was awesome. Way awesome. I bought two and then came home and bought a third for my guy friend Nelson online. He'll get his this coming week. We Sailor Moon Sweethearts to the core. And a huge button with a slice of cake on it that says: You want a Piece of Me? on it for my Chef. He hates cupcakes and since I found a slice of cake I thought he would like it.

Did anyone else have a black friday story?

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Fairy Tales: Thanksgiving Day

Fairy Tales: Thanksgiving Day: Happy Thanksgiving Everyone, or if you're my Chef from Germany...Happy Extra Days Off Day since you don't celebrate Thanksgiving. But we sti...

Thanksgiving Day

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone, or if you're my Chef from Germany...Happy Extra Days Off Day since you don't celebrate Thanksgiving. But we still love you! <3

I'm spending Thanksgiving with my mother, I normally do every Thanksgiving but this time its just the two of us. She's been sick. But not to worry, she's fine. We haven't spent a Thanksgiving alone since I was five. And this is the first Thanksgiving I've had with my cats. So its kinda fun and interesting. But I do miss my family. Especially my cousin Kevin. We've become pretty good friends over the last few years, we're a lot alike just as our parents *his dad, my mom* are alike. We were supposed to go see him and my two other cousins and my aunt and uncle in Florida for the holiday, but my mom was just to sick to go. So next year I hope. We need to make Moist Makers the day after and go to Harry Potter World. Also, I need to talk him into getting a tattoo. :-D

So, I am thankful for my family, my kitties and getting the opportunity to go to Italy with a Michelin Star Chef and a very good friend. This year has of course had its ups and downs, but its been pretty spiffy.

Also, I'll have a detailed blog about my Thanksgiving day Feast. Its pretty Epic.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Team Narwhal

Have you ever seen Elf? The Christmas movie? Well...if not, go buy it. Its awesome. In this movie they have a Narwhal that wishes Buddy the Elf goodluck while Buddy is looking for his real father. I am 28. Yes. 28. And I thought a Narwhal was some sort of Magical story character. Like a Unicorn. I was. SO. WRONG! They are totally real.

But thats not the real story. The story begins with my class. Its called A La Carte and we basically run our own restaurant back and front. I've connected with this people. We have become a family of our own. There are of course the EPIC Pastry Puff crew which I am a part of. Who do the desserts and breads and then everyone else.

I am super weird. I admit it. I have billions of stuffed animals and recently bought a Narwhal to take to Italy with my friend and fellow Puff Sara. He, along with a few other stuffed animals will be flying to Italy to learn how to cook awesome food. So I brought Blueberry *my narwhal* to school today. So he could meet everyone. Some people scoffed at him and made Unicorn jokes and others took to him as if he were their own.

So tonight I was looking on etsy and found a Narwhal pattern to make my own Narwhal. Yes. Thats right. Make your own. I am now on a journey to  make each and everyone in my class a stuffed tiny Narwhal. When I hand these cuties out we will ALL be taking a picture. Sigh. Including She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. She'll get one too...but yes. So now my A La Carte class is Team Narwhal. Because we are THAT COOL!


So go Team Narwhal!

Friday, November 18, 2011

The Evil Queen

As a little girl I was always obsessed with the Princess. The girl who was more beautiful then words could describe, sweet as a spring strawberry, soft spoken and perfect. All little girls wish to be the Princess of the story, the one who gains true love, who surpasses all the hardships that are thrown her way or rather rescued.

But now that I am older I find myself wondering if perhaps the Evil Queen didn't ever have it right? No. I don't condone killing children to eat their hearts and be beautiful. But the Queen always strive to be better then what she was...for better or worse. She never took no for an answer. She had gumption. She was sassy and strong. She may not have been nice...but how many of us are truly nice out there.

I know I'm not always nice. I may have a candy coated exterior that I show to most people. But I, like the Queen am not perfect. I do not think I am beautiful or smart, I am...content with who I am. Of course I would love to be better then I am, but at what price? What is the price to be more beautiful? To be smarter? To be loved by everyone? Who knows.

I guess I just wish I was the Queen and the Princess. A balance of both of them. Of course I desire a Prince to save me from it all...but I know for a fact that I'll most likely have to do that on my own. Where does my path lead? Is it good or bad? I hope its what I wish for. No more or less then that.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

My Weird Day

So my day went: went to lay down upstairs around 9ish something. There was a cat in my bed. *now, to be clear this cat is actually my cat, not so random cat from nowhere* So I slept beside her, kinda squishing her. She stayed with me for quite awhile and then jumped down. Then around noon she came and woke me up. I thought for food...so I was all okay I'll get up. Its noon. So I went to the bathroom and came out...and she was in my bed again!!!!!! It was ALL A RUSE!!!! She wanted no food from me. Only my bed. Dorkus.

Aso I had dreams about leprechauns and alien bugs...it was kinda freaky...

So then I fed the dude *this is my boy cat* cus he wanted food and get the ring to mail out and went on my way.

Went to Shell to get gas and we got .30 cents off and some older dude was in front of me with his huge truck, told me I needed to ground myself if I go and sit in the car and then get out to remove the gas thingy. It was very weird. He also said that because its colder now and we wear so much clothes and we don't ground ourselves before we remove the pump thingy that the static will cause the car to explode...I was ONLY WEARING jeans and a quarter length sleeve sweater...So then I get back INTO the car and old man answers his cell phone...by his car...while the gas is pumping. Umm...dude....the is clearly a sign that says that the STATIC from your PHONE will cause the car to explode too...so good luck with that.

Then I dropped off the ring, then went to Verizon. I was 5th in line...there was this old lady who sorta cut infront of me, but I didn't mind. She was older and freaking out about her new phone. She didn't know how to find the numbers for the missed calls that she had, and wanted a phone without a key board. She was told that would cost more...so she decided to keep the key board.  The dude told me that I needed to clean out my something or other from my phone and he showed me how to do it. I forgot to ask about Italy, and I looked to see if I could pay the bill. It told me no. *PS, I was having issues texting...*

Then I went to CVS to get my shot. I also asked the lady about allergies and she said the only thing they could prescribe was Allegra. She seemed really surprised that I took benedryl around the clock and it still didn't help. Sigh. But she gave me my shot...and I didnt feel it! But I was all...do the shot in my left arm. And she saw my big tattoo and said she didn't want to do it, she wanted to do it in the left where there were holes in the tattoo *hee hee* so I could see if I had any aggravation from the shot. *Like allergic?*

Then I was all: CRAP! Now that she told my body that there COULD be an issue with this shot, it will have an issue with it. Sigh. So fingers crossed. But yeah. Didn't feel it at all, she was very good at it. Now my arm is hurting a bit. Now I'm at home and I checked the mail and still no bill and no turkey day magazines. I think our mail man is stealing or something. Who knows.

*PS, if this post is a bit weird...its actually an email I sent to someone...But its still funny*

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Blocks In The Road...

If you are in a high rise building like I am almost every day when I go to school in the middle of DC and you look down...you see the people. The people that makeup who and what this world is. There's a woman with a red bag, she waits at the light like you're supposed to, but another woman barrels on across the street barely looking to notice if any cars are coming. A man is holding the hand of his child, she skips along, he looks down and grins *I can't actually see the grin, but I'm hoping its there*, there are the homeless sitting on the ground watching as people pass by. People holding bags and boxes, food and coffee cups, men, women, teenagers. The list goes on.

One of the interesting things I find about standing up there looking down is I'm always wondering who these people are. In a fleeting moment you are a part of someone elses life, driving past them, making their coffee, watching them as they ride the escalator down to the metro. But do you ever really wonder who they are?

When I get my morning coffee at Starbucks there are two people who always spell my name correctly...some people in my family can't even do that. I always wonder who THEY know in their life that spells their name like I spell mine. It makes you wonder....

If you stand long enough from up above you see the pattern that we have created in our lives, the stops and the gos, the rules that we all must adhere to. It may seem as if we are in perfect sincrnaztion, but we never truly are. Within all of us is that spark that makes us different, makes us unique. Makes us pause before we take the step across the road that could save our life from an oncoming car that doesn't see the light. Or the person who drops the extra quarter from coffee into the homeless persons hand.

For now I'll just continue to watch from my perch in the sky...

Friday, November 4, 2011

Crazy Things, Weird Things, Stupid People

This is just a short random post. Because recently people have been REALLY stupid! No one I know...just random people that I happen to see.

Story One:
Old Biddy Lady in Target Parking Lot:

I've just backed out of my spot in the parking lot of target and am waiting while another person *old biddy lady* pulls out so I can be on my merry way. There was a nice random dude who had gotten out of his car and was walking towards the entrance, he was behind crazy lady and continued to walk. Probably because HE HAS THE RIGHT OF WAY! She doesn't stop pulling out. I'm sitting there wondering if I should pull my phone out now so that when she hits this poor guy I can call the cops and take a pic of her car. Guy walks by and lady STILL doesn't stop to let him walk by. In fact she keeps backing out and is INCHES away from him. *if this had been me I would have smacked the shit out of her car*. THEN! Get this...she STARES at him and shakes her head in annoyance like having a pedestrian walk by your car is a Federal offence. I didn't want her to hit this guy but if she had even just TAPPED him with her car I would have taken her picture and called the cops and been all up in her ass about her behavior. Stupid people like that scare me. Sigh.

Story Two:
Cute Asian Lady With Fanny Pack At Store and HELLISH Child...

So I'm at the store *not Target* and I'm walking around getting my things and I keep running into this lady. She's an older Asian lady, clearly she speaks both English and whatever sort of language. She also has a bratty child in tow, who went into a fit over EVERYTHING! I don't know what her relationship was to this child, but I felt so badly for her.

So thats been my rant. Sorry, but the first one really annoyed me.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Little Pastry Puffs

The first five weeks are FINALLY over. The Assbag told us at the end of class: The teacher you hate the most is the one you learn the most from. My response...in my head at least and on FB where she can't read it: Okay then...I learned to always be late, sit on my ass all day and text, complain like a little baby, not believe that your students can do anything right, to say one thing and do another thing...etc. Thats TOTALLY what I learned. Oh! And you should be rude enough to school your guests in good behavior *ie, if they are not using their napkin right, place it on their lap FOR them.* Yeah...she's told us to do that.

So the next five weeks is baking baking baking. Whoot! I'm excited. I want to try to rework the apple cobbler, not the flavors, just how it looks. Its going to be exciting, plus I want to play around with ice cream flavors and maybe do a dessert special if we can once a week. I wonder if Chef S would allow us to do that? I'll have to talk to him about it.

What else is going on? ITALY TRIP! I know, I haven't posted a picture of things I'm bringing. Life has been crazy hectic and I come home and sleep. I do know that I can't show Sara any more stuffed animals, because she insists that we bring them with us. We're both on the same flight over there together sitting next to eachother. Its going to be epic. I made shirts for our Pastry Puff group and I will be making two shirts that say: Pastry Puffs on Tour. We will be wearing those proudly on the plane! Hazaa!

Next week I'll have some awesome stories to tell. I love my whole group. We stuck together on the front of the house and with the assbag and we're going to be killer awesome as back of the house. WHOOT WHOOT!