Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Smurf Cakes and Fairy Sugar

So the quarter is over...finally. It was a stressful 10 weeks, mentally stressful and physically. After the quarter I find myself looking back to who I was for those 10 weeks and wondering if I stayed true to myself. I don't think I did. At least not in some sense. I know that sounds weird, but I struggled with some people and how they spoke about other people. But I never stood up for what I believed in and thats kinda getting to me now. I don't know if I was right or not. I guess in this case its okay for how I was on a level of the world, but as for my own self...I feel as if I lost myself there for awhile.

Believe you me, I will NOT be doing that this quarter. Partly because I am a VERY different person when I cook then when I bake. So those people who I had issues with and never confronted them about it...well they will probably see a VERY different side of me. Lets hope they come prepared for who I truly am. I wont back down this time, I wont lock myself away. It wont be easy, but if anything in this life...I have to be myself.

BUT! Now to the fun stuff. The last two weeks was spent working on a 5-6 tier cake and pulling/blowing sugar sculptures. I was in one group with two awesome girls in cakes class and we created a Smurf cake. It was by no means easy, and I refuse to make wedding cakes in the future. Normal cakes are fine, but wedding cakes are so bloody annoying. Our Smurf cake was Epic, though it leaned slightly. It even had a shiny glass ball for the bad guy to look into as he stood in wait for smurfs.

I made the bridge *which apparently for some odd reason everyone LOVED!* I also made the Smurf house on the top.

Papa Smurf is kinda large compared to the house, but thats okay. We're not perfect YET! :-D

This is me as a Smurf. Those black dots are all of my tattoos. I have 25 ya'll. They are spiffy!

And in Chocolates class we created sugar sculptures. They were all supposed to be somewhat the same, but we could add/make whatever sort of flower that would be in the middle between two of the pieces. I was slightly annoyed with this because I thought we were all going to be able to go whatever kind of sculpture we wanted and I had mine all planned out! It was going to be this spiffy fairy and a half moon and stars and fun things. So, not only did I make a flower I also made a fairy. She is awesome!

This is my fairy made from pulled and blown glass.

And thats my final piece. It was super fun and if I could play with sugar all day long I so totally would. I would actually love to find this guy in NY who does sugar and chocolate classes. If I ever own my own bakery I would love to make a sugar sculpture every week. It would be so much fun!

I got all A's! Which is awesome. I missed two days in my cakes and chocolates class because of being sick and at midterm I had a D and an F. I was of course freaking out. When the classes finished and I looked online it looked like I had a B and a B-. I was TOTALLY okay with those grades, but I looked yesterday and HAZAA! Two A's! SO excited.

I will be taking Al Carte next quarter which is where we run our own restaurant and serve meals. There is an evil bitch teacher in that class, so you'll get to hear all about her. Also there is an awesome German teacher who works for the President as well. He's wonderful. So I am hot and cold about this class. And then I am taking a wine and beverage class where we are TOTALLY ASKED TO DRINK BEFORE CLASS! Yes. Thats right. We are encouraged *if 21 or over* to have a glass of wine before class to get our palate ready for wine tasty. How awesome is that?

Also, my tree is up. Its wonderful.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Today I Put The Christmas Tree Up

I know...its not even the end of fall...it has only just begun! Why then am I putting up my tree? Because I love it, it makes me happy and when I come home from a stressful day at school I like things that make me happy. If I can control the happy-factor then I can control the stress-factor just a bit more.

We have THEME trees in my house. Our tree is white and fake. I don't like real trees, I mean of course I like real trees but I don't want them in my house. BUG y'all! BUGS! So I have a white tree with white lights. The first year of the trees life the theme was red. It was all red and white. The second year was purple. It was SO pretty. And finally this year it was SUPPOSED to be Gingerbread themed...but I haven't had time to make spiffy gingerbread things to go on it. So it will be green and brown *and when I say brown I mean a shiny, chestnut brown. Not yuck brown* Brown is also my favorite color.

So, all the white lights on the white tree died. I'm assuming because I kept it up until March last year and it didn't like being plugged in for 6 months. So I bought new white lights. My Aunt last year was so smart, she wrapped the icky green color of Christmas lights with a color ribbon that would go well with the other things on the trees. So I have brown ribbon to wrap around the white lights and a sparkly green one to wrap around the AWESOME green/brown/amber colored lights I bought. I am so excited. EEP!

So there you go. This is my happy place, I'm super excited to put them up!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Fall is Near

Fall, it creates pictures in my mind of red and orange leaves that fall gently to the ground but if you were to step on it there would be a distinct crackle sound that resonates throughout the soul. The air is crisp and clean, early in the morning or at dusk when the sun goes down and the air is purple you can see your breath as it hangs on your lips, searching for its next stop.

You can hear the crickets chirping, its soft and sweet and rhythmic, lulling you into a dream. Fall is not for the faint of heart, it requires a push and a shove for some people, but for me I fall freely. I let fall take over me, dictate what I do, how I see the world. It is probably one of the only times I really let myself go, let myself feel as if tomorrow was forever and today was yesterday.

I jump at the chance to pull those thick Irish sweaters from the closet, let the smell of last fall settle over me, getting ready for the new sights, sounds and smells of this one that is to come. There is a tea that I drink only at fall and winter, I refuse to make it in the spring or summer, it awakens my taste buds as its sweet and savory softness flow through my mind.

One of my favorite things about moving to the East Coast is the mist that hangs heavy over the trees, its as if we have suddenly found ourselves in a shrouded mystery, a romance story or a line of poetry. I often wish that the sun would never find that gap in the mist to burn it away, to burn away the mystery that only mist can bring.

Fall calls to me, I can feel it in my bones. It whispers to me, telling me to find myself, telling me to find what I am made of. I'll wait for that first full moon of fall, and wish on the stars that streak across the sky...

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Fairy Tales: I'm Reading Telling Dad and Feel the Need to Tell ...

Fairy Tales: I'm Reading Telling Dad and Feel the Need to Tell ...: I have had two surgeries. One for my wisdom teeth and one for my nose *and no, it was not to make it pretty, I already love my nose, it was ...

I'm Reading Telling Dad and Feel the Need to Tell My Own Surgery Story...

I have had two surgeries. One for my wisdom teeth and one for my nose *and no, it was not to make it pretty, I already love my nose, it was to help with my monthly sinus infections*.

Really...both these surgeries have melded into one, so you'll get bits and pieces of them both...but my mind can only remember them as one...Except for the AFTER effects of the surgies.

Lets start out with me being wheeled, half bombed off of meds that will make me sleepy so they can actually PUT me to sleep. I am wheeled in *and like I said...I dont actually remember which surgery this was for* the people in the room *I think there were 3* exclaimed: Those are FANTASTIC tattoos! *I think I had about 18 then, I'm now up to 22* and they proceeded to ask me questions about them...WHILE I WAS OUT OF IT! It was SO funny...at least now. I think then I was slightly annoyed.

That was and has been my only really funny surgery post. The after effects of both surgeries were...weird. The one for my wisdom teeth caused the entire left side of my mouth and tongue to be numb for 6 months. If it had continued I would have had to go down to Seattle to have them repair the damage.

The nose one...trying to make it so I wouldn't have a sinus infection every month...I went back to have all the crap still in my nose removed...and what did I have? A SINUS INFECTION! I still get them.

My body hates me I think. I also have latent TB and had to take meds to make it so it wouldn't BECOME TB...and I was allergic. I am now in the books of the CDC because I am one of the YOUNGEST people in US history to be allergic to that drug. Funny huh?

Actually it is. So don't worry! You can laugh.

I'll post a post about my finals at school tomorrow with pretty smurf pictures and fairies.

One word love; curiosity. You long for freedom. You long to do what you want to do because you want it. To act on selfish impulse. You want to see what it's like. One day you won't be able to resist

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Fairy Tales: Feelings, Thoughts and Emotions

Fairy Tales: Feelings, Thoughts and Emotions: One more day. Thats all. One more day I tell myself as I take the 1 hour metro ride to school. One more day and you have two weeks off. Two ...

Feelings, Thoughts and Emotions

One more day. Thats all. One more day I tell myself as I take the 1 hour metro ride to school. One more day and you have two weeks off. Two weeks where you can hunker down with a good book, and all the new TV shows coming on for the fall season.

Its like walking out on a sea of ice. The subtle cracks that weave its way through a substance that once was liquid. Flowing, flowing forever and changing the world without out mortal minds even knowing that the change is coming, the change is happening. These cracks twist and turn throughout the ice, they seem to dance and weave its own pattern of life. Maybe it wishes to be frozen in its path forever, maybe it hopes for what is to come.

Tomorrow is another day, another moment that could take your breath away. The path I walk is like the ice, you never know when it will pull you in a different direction, pull you into the cold unknown.

Tomorrow brings me closer, but closer to what? I'm not sure. I don't know what my future holds. I hope for the best and of course I think of the worst.

Our final cake will be a smurf village. You heard me right. A smurf village. My final piece for chocolates class...isn't what I wished it to be. But, I'll follow that crack in the ice, but force it into a different direction. I'll make it my own. It will be unlike the others, just as I am.

One more day and I come closer to the darkness that lays ahead...

Monday, September 12, 2011

Fairy Tales: Freshly Baked Bread...It Does The Soul Good

Fairy Tales: Freshly Baked Bread...It Does The Soul Good: I'm sad and lonely today. Well, I actually am lonely a lot. Yes, I have many friends and wonderful family that make it so I don't feel so lo...

Freshly Baked Bread...It Does The Soul Good

I'm sad and lonely today. Well, I actually am lonely a lot. Yes, I have many friends and wonderful family that make it so I don't feel so lonely. But it feels as if there is a part of me missing. Its floating somewhere amongst the stars waiting to be found. Maybe one day I will...

In the mean time I've decided to make fresh whole wheat bread. Being a "Chef" or whatever I am I have the ingrediants and means to make something from scratch without the use of a bread machine or going to the store. The silly thing is, I actually have a loaf of wheat bread I bought from the store not to long ago.

But there is something that sooths your soul and inner voice from its deamons when making bread. Feeling the soft, spongey goodness under your fingers as you slowly knead the dough. Watching it slowly rise from a tiny round ball into something that actually allows you to punch it down.

Its sitting in my window now with the warmth of the sun causing it to expand and grow under its watchful eye. Its simple. It makes me wish for times when you only made your fresh bread and you ate it with a bowl of hearty stew and your own freshly made ale.

When I make fresh bread *which I think I'll do more often* I like to pretend I'm someone I'm not. Someone who only has the things required to survive day to day rather then having things that fill up my house, that fill up my soul with clutter and no imganation.

I've recently been wondering who or what I am. Yes, I know I'm a human. I know that life dictates me to be something that conforms to socitey, that plays the game the correct way and doesn't try to change the rules. But sometimes the rules are meant to be broken. I struggle with who I am, knowing that its what helps guide both my spirital and mental sides of me. I'm not ready to explain it further. I know some people who are my friends perhaps wouldn't understand. And I'm not ready for their judgement. Perhaps in time. Perhaps many loaves of bread to come.

But for now, I'll sit and watch as the fruits of my labor grow and change before me. Waiting for that moment to punch it down and watch it grow again.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Fairy Tales: One More Week To Go

Fairy Tales: One More Week To Go: One more week, that is my motto to get me through this week. Actually, this is the last week, so my moto on Wednesday will be...ONE MORE DAY...

One More Week To Go

One more week, that is my motto to get me through this week. Actually, this is the last week, so my moto on Wednesday will be...ONE MORE DAY! And then on Thursday it will be: 10 more hours...etc. I am super excited. I'm excited for it to be over, but I'm also excited to do my chocolates class final piece that we are making.

Last week we made this:

Yeah! Its pretty kick-ass isn't it? Pulled and blown sugar baby! It was one of my ALL TIME favorite things to work with now. I'd like to find a pastry school that just does this for a whole quarter so I could learn as much as I can. I've always had a slight obession with blown glass, so I knew I would be excited for pulled sugar.

Its FRAKKING HARD though to do. But so much fun when you have a final piece. Everyone had to make an under the sea themed piece. My group and I made this one. I made the jellyfish guy *who later commited suscide* and the fish with the purple and pink fins.

Next week each person has to make their own. I have this necklace that I own:

I want to go that is the background, so a circle of blue, with a yellow cresecnt moon, and the whispy stars. And then I want to have a fairy of some sort infront of it like this:

We have two days to make it. I think I can get it to all work out. Its going to be hard, but if it works out its going to be beautiful! I'll post pictures.

So yeah, one more week to go.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Fairy Tales: My Wishes and Dreams

Fairy Tales: My Wishes and Dreams: I look all over the Internet and see this AMAZINGLY beautiful, awesome, funny blogs and then I look at mine. Though this is the first blog t...

My Wishes and Dreams

I look all over the Internet and see this AMAZINGLY beautiful, awesome, funny blogs and then I look at mine. Though this is the first blog that I have really kept up with, I still wonder what I could do to make it better? Be funnier? Sure! I wish I could do that all the time. Blog more about food. Do you want me to? Because I can. I guess I just am who I am. Plus I have to clean. And when I say clean I don't mean just vacuum...I have so HEAVY cleaning to do. I don't want to. When I don't want to clean I cook. I already have an awesome smelling potato bake in the oven now. So now I'm turning to blogging. I guess I'll clean soon. But not right now.

So here are a list of my hopes and dreams:

1. I want to work for Disney...without having to cover up my tattoos. But I want to work for them.

2. I want to work for America's Test Kitchen. Not the PBS show part of it, but the magazine part of it.

3. I want to be a personal Chef on a yacht that goes all around the world.

4. I want to open my own bakery. I can't tell you what its theme will be. But BELIEVE me. It will be EPIC!

5. I want to be a caterer for The Big Bang Theory or Glee or Eureka or Warehouse 13.

6. I want Jim Parsons to be my bestest friend. As well as Chris Colfer!

7. I want to live somewhere where it rains every day but visit somewhere for a month where its only sunny.

8. I want to save ALL the animals. Yes. I mean all.

9. I want my mother and family to always be happy, healthy and safe.

10. I want this for my cats and friends too.

11. I want to be understood.

The list goes on. My house smells amazing by the way. From the potato bake. And its raining out. But I have horrid allergies. Blah. Can someone come clean for me?

Monday, September 5, 2011

Fairy Tales: You Are The Only Exception

Fairy Tales: You Are The Only Exception: My blog isn't very funny. It isn't whats "in". Its me. Maybe only 4 people read it. Or 4 million...it wouldn't matter. I am who I am. I can'...

You Are The Only Exception

My blog isn't very funny. It isn't whats "in". Its me. Maybe only 4 people read it. Or 4 million...it wouldn't matter. I am who I am. I can't change who I am, I can alter parts of me for the better or worse, but I will always be the weird girl who is super nice to everyone. I will always be the girl that likes in things but will hate them if my "friends" like them to much. There are some things I will never hate. I take who I am in stride. I find new things about myself every day. I am like the galaxy...the universe...ever expanding, ever changing. I will not always be who I am today, but I will always be who I am.

There is one person in my life who I will never give up on. I've come to realize that this person may not think of me the same way I think of them. They are my kindred spirit. One of the only people I will never give up on. They contributed in a major way as to who I am today.

We have drifted over the years, and that of course has hurt me. I have found out that there are other people this person is closer to then I am. Then we used to be. But this person is the ONE person I will NEVER give up on. No. Matter. What. I can see that we have phased into other lives, that we no longer...or maybe never were on the same wave length. But this person...I have always looked up to. This person has been better then me in every way. This person has given me the courage to not look the other way.

I wish this person knew how I really felt. How, without this person I would be a little lost. But I don't have the courage to tell them, that YES they are the person in my life that I will never give up on. No. Matter. What. *And believe me, many people give me MANY reasons to give up on them* but not on this person. Even if they hurt me. If they hurt me...I grow. I wish I could tell them.

Thats all. Thanks for listening. Whoever you are out there.